5 a guide to jaywalking

It's no secret that New Yorkers love to hate tourists, and while there are a thousand ways to get spotted as one, probably the most telling sign that a person is not from New York City is stopping at a curb when the light is red. There are a bunch of other things, such as consulting a map, taking photos in front of landmarks, and traveling in painfully homogenous groups (which is also a hilarious sight), but those are characteristic to being a tourist in any other city, so.

Below I have compiled a guide to mastering jaywalking; the true jaywalker will take the following steps and make it their second nature when walking the streets of the city.

1. Don't be afraid.
Simple, pedestrian (double entendre!) physics: the only condition under which you absolutely CANNOT cross is when there is a car in front of you, physically blocking your forward movement.

2. Evaluate the walking conditions ahead of time.
You shouldn't be deciding whether or not to cross once you get to the curb; you should already know by the time you reach the light. Get an idea of the oncoming traffic, the amount of people who will be crossing the street with you, and, I guess, the streetlight and when it will be in your favor.
This is the part of jaywalking that is the most difficult to explain to someone who is only visiting the city, as its mastery only comes from experience - you'll just need to keep walking to get a hang of it.

3. Follow the pack.
Most people don't even look at the light; they walk when everybody else does. Go with the flow, because chances are there's a native in there and he knows what he's doing. If not, at least there is safety in numbers.
If you're the only one on the street, however:

4. Walk with purpose.
Drivers, as much as we love to complain about them, are not stupid. They're not going to run you over if you make it clear that you're crossing the street. If you dilly-dally at the curb, you've lost your chance. Hesitating is just going to confuse the driver, and confused drivers, no matter how smart or kind they are, are dangerous.

5. Carpe commodum (seize the opportunity).
Rule four also applies to cars: the moment they stop following the car in front of them, they relinquish their prerogative. You might notice that a lot of pedestrians weave between stopped cars - this is why.

6. Don't limit yourself.
As a human being (as opposed to a car), the corner isn't the only place you can cross the street. As the photo above shows, you can probably cross anywhere if you use your common sense (e.g., the five points I just listed). In this case of crossing in the middle of the block, it's helpful to look ahead toward the light that the oncoming traffic will eventually hit and time yourself to cross a couple seconds after it turns red.

And finally:

7. Don't be a jackass.
You don't want to piss off the person who could have killed you but didn't because pedestrians have priority, so don't be the asshole who cut off a car when it was clear that it had an opportunity and intent to pass. The last thing a New Yorker will ever, EVER need is attitude from a tourist. Ugh.